Thanksgiving, as the name implies, is a time to express gratitude but the problem is that we are not always feeling it! There is nothing more grating on the spirit than feeling slightly or even very resentful when your conscience and everyone around you is screaming for you to be grateful in all things.

I hate platitudes about gratitude without a clear understanding of how to get from here to there. If it’s just an empty mandate it’s likely to simply pile on more burden rather than create happiness. We have all been told that we “should” be grateful, often without good effect.

Where to begin

Gratitude starts with being grateful for your own life. It is easy to waste time and emotional energy trying to be someone else. I guess we do that because we admire a trait we don’t have or think that if we possessed a certain trait we would be more loveable or notable. In longing to be different we lose the essence of who we are and gratitude flies out the window. Rev. Moon spoke about this point in a way that touched me because his explanation was so much more than the typical platitudes about loving yourself.

“Each and every one of the millions of different kinds of flowers in full bloom stands in dignity as an individual embodiment of truth, according to the Principle of Creation.

Each brings harmony to Mother Nature and abides by the laws of interdependence and mutual prosperity. Likewise, each and every human being has Heaven’s blessing and grace to seek harmony, peace, freedom and happiness, and to pursue eternal life. Heaven has bestowed on each person a unique life and characteristics. That is to say, every human being is born with rights and privileges as an individual embodiment of truth. Every person, regardless of age, sex, rank or status, has the right and privilege to follow a destined course of life that is uniquely his or her own and that reflects his or her individual nature.

Can you find anyone who resembles you one hundred percent? Think about it. Is there anyone who has the same individual qualities as you? Would the lives of identical twins be the same, though they were born on the same day, even if they died at the same time? No person can take another’s individuality. One person being the most handsome man does not at all diminish the unique embodiment of truth within the world’s least handsome man. As the king of wisdom, God continually creates eternal, individual embodiments of truth through the process of origin-division-union action, in accordance with the Principle of Creation.”

I think this is why Jesus and other great religious leaders can love all people. They instinctively feel the value and uniqueness of every person. Our goal therefore is to develop a sincere appreciation for ourselves and others.

Rev. Moon always taught people to be content within themselves before setting out to do something. When you feel contented within yourself you will naturally become very generous. In the words of Oscar Wilde:

“Be yourself – everyone else is already taken.”

But the question still remains, even when you are grateful for who you are, how do you overcome the day-to-day stumbling blocks to gratitude?

Being willing to invest

I’ll start with a silly scenario because they are the ones we stumble over that lead to bigger problems. We have all experienced receiving a gift we didn’t want. Without gratitude life is hell.

I remember when I was 12 or so my father decided that instead of giving us all gifts for Christmas, he would buy a hugely expensive Scalextric set that we would all share. I was not amused. Naturally, my brother was ecstatic, which only made it worse. There was definitely a Cain-Abel dynamic brewing. I was stuck in my resentment.

My problem is everybody’s problem. We don’t know the mechanics of joy. My happiness and gratitude were dependent on my receiving a certain thing that I wanted but was not getting! I was waiting to receive and the longer I waited the unhappier I got. That’s a 12 year old scenario but it is equally true in a 20 year old, or a 40 year old life. Simply insert a new house, car or anything else for that matter into the equation and you get the same result.

The Divine Principle gives some useful insight into where joy comes from. Ironically it doesn’t come as a result of receiving. Rather it is generated from the act of giving. When you, in the subject position, initiate giving and invest in an object partner, you experience joy. You see the beauty in the person or thing you have invested in; you genuinely enjoy and value it. You create love! It’s an amazing principle. I wish my 12 year old self had known the answer to the riddle “which comes first – give or receive?”

Too often in life, we sit around waiting to receive something when our joy and feelings of gratitude are dependent on our willingness to invest in that moment.

Investing in the moment

In a thought provoking sermon “Let Us Be Grateful” Rev. Moon advised:

“If you are very busy and going somewhere but someone stops you to ask the way, don’t ever think that it is a bothersome thing. Take a moment and explain to him how to get to his destination. During that moment you are existing for that purpose alone; with that feeling you must perform that service. One thing is for sure; by doing that you will never lose. Much gain will result from that kind of situation and attitude. You will never lose because that is the nature of the universe.”

Invest in the moment and your acts of love and service will return joy to you.

Is it possible to feel gratitude in every circumstance?

This is something that I’ve thought about a LOT! Throughout life we go through ups and downs and to be honest it’s hard to always be grateful. There are many encouraging words surrounding us. For example:

 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

That’s radical gratitude. In all circumstances give thanks, because it’s God’s will for you. Is that really possible? Is it too much? Scary words!

When I meet what seems to be unreasonable or impossible ideas or commandments I try to turn them around by asking questions. Instead of saying no, I might ask God, “How can I do this? Please show me how because I don’t get it.” It’s amazing how often that brings a response. Additionally, even when answers don’t appear right away, I realize I am perhaps learning something I need to learn and can at least be grateful for that.

Turning difficulty around

I know in the most difficult circumstances, when facing fierce opposition or persecution, Rev. Moon would think of God and allow himself, in that moment, to better comprehend God’s situation and heart through the circumstance. In a strange way even difficulty can be reason for gratitude. One time, Rev. Moon shared that he sometimes missed his days in Heung Nam Prison. The Communist North Korean Government had thrown him in prison for preaching the Gospel. He told us that in prison there were so many life and death moments but he felt God’s presence with him more profoundly than in easier times. Our challenge is to learn how to find God in our unique circumstances. It’s how we grow deep roots and an unshakeable faith.

Jesus said, “I have many things to tell you but you cannot bear them now.” The people weren’t ready. They couldn’t understand the things Jesus wanted to share because they didn’t have the life experience or depth of heart. It’s our difficulties that open a door to a relationship with God and deeper compassion for others. A perfect life may be easy but it may remain shallow in comparison.

Don’t be afraid: God is working behind the scenes

Just as God uses Give and Take Action to create this world according to the Principles of Creation, so Give and Take Action helps in the process of restoration too. I was reminded of this through an interview with the author of a new book “Massacre on the Merrimack.” This may seem a strange title to attract my attention but it was about Hannah Dustin, who is famous in New Hampshire for killing and escaping her Indian captors.

Despite the fact this is a grizzly tale, this true story is interesting on many levels. It encapsulates the troubled relationship between the settlers and Abenaki Indians and begs the question, who was really in the right or was there even a right position? There was so much resentment and killing on both sides. How do you resolve such fractured relationships when justice and gratitude are miles away? Nevertheless, God does have a plan for restoration even if it makes us a little uncomfortable.

The author, Jay Atkinson, told an interesting story of two descendants from that grim encounter in 1679. It happened a long way from the scene of the crime. Two women travelled independently from New England to Florida for vacation. Their paths crossed at a parade on a particularly hot day. Not being used to the Florida sun, they both sought shelter under an awning and struck up a conversation. The Caucasian woman proudly declared that she was from up North, a descendent of Hannah Dustin. To her surprise, the other woman said she was descended from Abenaki Indians and so began a very interesting give and take.

I thought it amazing that these two people would be brought together. In my opinion, it was no coincidence. It was a Godincidence that their paths should cross because there was unfinished business that God and their ancestors wanted to resolve. God won’t leave us alone until everything has been healed. This is why I believe God is an amazing God! Many of the situations, good or bad, we find ourselves in are no coincidence and shouldn’t be lightly dismissed. They are a doorway out of suffering, if we choose to stay in the moment and experience what God has orchestrated for us.

We are fortunate that we have the opportunity to invest and give, to repair situations from the past and build something better for God. Ultimately, a life of giving creates a life of gratitude. The simple act of giving begins the cycle of ‘give and take’ that creates joy.

Giving Tuesday

Last Thursday, we celebrated Thanksgiving, but all of our warm fuzzy gratitude quickly deteriorated into a spending frenzy on Black Friday, to be followed by an equally active Cyber Monday! I am grateful that someone has now invented Giving Tuesday to get us back on track. I want to ask you to think about what you can give this coming Tuesday. There are a myriad of charities to invest your time, talent and treasures in. This year, Faith Fusion is supporting Safari Youth Club with a GoFundMe Campaign.

Supporting New Hampshire’s Refugees

Safari Youth Club is an awesome organization run by the refugee community to provide support for refugee youth in Manchester, NH. At this after school and weekend program, kids can find help with homework, meet friends, and of course play soccer! We are currently trying to raise $5,000 to help buy a van for Safari Youth club, which is desperately needed so the children and youth can get to the program. Their parents are working second and third shifts, or don’t have transportation. Safari Youth Club provides the kind of mentoring and support that can help these children succeed in their new home of America. This Tuesday we have the chance to initiate a little giving and create whole lot of gratitude. I hope you can find a way to participate, even if it’s just the simple act of sharing Safari Youth Club fundraiser on-line. https://www.gofundme.com/SafariYouthClub

A life of gratitude starts with giving.

Pass it on

Giving always results in feeling good! When you feel good and then extend that to God, He will feel good too. We need to apply the Principle of offering everything we are experiencing to God. Similarly, when you feel good and extend it to other people they will also feel good. People wonder what a religious life is. It is not being cloistered away somewhere, separated from people. It’s investing, loving and serving. This is the true religious life. The result of a true religion is a life of gratitude. Not a fake gratitude but a deep sense of being thankful to God and others.

This week – extend yourself – give a little and get a lot!