Disappointment with God – part 2

I came across an interesting video the other day that asked if the average church goer was stuck in some kind of spiritual adolescence. It made me think. Are we like spiritual adolescents; we aren’t quite ready to take on what it means to be a person of faith, and are only “in there” so to speak when we are buoyed up with emotion and excitement? We are dependent on that Hillsong moment.

We have all had instances of being on a “high” in our life of faith. Maybe we were at a retreat and just really felt something or we had a breakthrough and experienced an answer to prayer, but what of the times in between?  A life of faith isn’t really measured by the highs. It’s measured by the entire curve of ups and downs. Like a heartbeat, there would be no life without the full pattern. But we are always left with the lingering question, where is God when we hit those low moments in life?

A grown up faith

What does it mean to have an adult faith? The video presenter asked this question and implied it takes belief in moments of silence, in the tough times when you are on the bottom of the curve.  Not surprisingly perhaps the bottom of the curve is where people give up, disappointed with God. We have all visited that place because it’s part of the rhythm of your spiritual heartbeat.  The Bible, history, and everyday life is replete with examples of people hitting bottom.

The most famous example of hitting bottom has to be Job. Talk about disappointment with God and not feeling it! He is famous for the words:

“Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water.” – Job 3:23-24

That has to be the bottom of the curve!

Fighting the darkness

Times of terror can be clarifying. Will, an adolescent with a love for pushing the limits, was enjoying a natural water slide off a rock in the middle of an icy New Hampshire stream. The water never catches up to the temperature of the air during the summer. The plunge into the stream almost took his breath away but that was part of the excitement. In his final plunge he was caught up in an undercurrent and lost his bearings and all points of orientation. Where should he turn, which way was up? The current rolled him over and over and he could feel his body being carried downstream. He struggled for what seemed like an eternity. Time was meaningless. His lungs were bursting and he was beginning to lose hope of finding his bearings. Suddenly, he broke the surface and gulped for air, inhaling water at the same time and then he was submerged again into the murky waters. He fought, at times breaking the surface only to be dragged under. He didn’t have a plan. There was no plan, only the ceaseless hurling up and down, back and forth until a hand grabbed him and pulled him up.

That is a true story and was indeed a clarifying moment for one young man.

If you think about it, this is the pattern that Job experienced and not just Job. Think of Abraham who was promised that he could become the father of nations but couldn’t sire one son and had reached the age of 100 or so. Was faith reasonable or did he feel disappointed in God? Or think of the fugitive David who was anointed King on God’s command but spent the next decade dodging spears and sleeping in caves. Did he feel demoralized? I imagine if he had been interviewed at the time, the first sentence out of his mouth wouldn’t include the word faith or gratitude.

The Morse-code pattern of divine guidance

God seems to have a pattern of giving a clear message followed by a long silence – a gap that tests the best of hearts. Hebrews 11 which could also be dubbed the “Faith Hall of Fame” outlines some the heroes that were recipients of this Morse-code like communication where time didn’t seem to be an issue for God. They somehow made it through. At the very end of the chapter though, there is an interesting comment, “Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God.” Faith on steroids seems to make an impression! Additionally, it appears that faith is indeed a two way street. Keeping faith when the going gets rough doesn’t go unnoticed by God.

Does faith demand uncertainty?

I am not partial to the idea that God needs to test our faith. That would make him somewhat of a psychotic parent. But it makes sense there are developmental phases to faith.

We start with childish faith which has its beauty. I was reminded of that this week as I babysat for a friend. I had prepared dinner and the boy who is six announced he would pray. He prayed a great pre-dinner prayer. This inspired his younger sister who is four to exclaim, “I want to pray too!” and so we bowed our heads again and my heart opened a little wider as I listened to this childish voice melt the universe, “I love you God, thank you for everyone, we just love you…..” It was beauty incarnate.

When mountains don’t move

And new believers too have that kind of innocence. It’s beautiful. It’s a seed faith that can even move mountains. But will childlike trust and faith survive when the mountains don’t move? What happens then? Everyone has had a mountain that did not move. Having been a nurse for many years, I’ve seen this up close and personal when people are dying. Is it right to pray for someone to live when they clearly are at the end of life? Do we do even God a disservice by uttering such a prayer? This was brought up in the movie I watched on Friday night, “The Judge.” Will faith be destroyed by the lack of an answer or does faith go deeper, even in darkness?

Adolescence is indeed a time of transition but hopefully not all the way to 30, as the video implied. God wants to bless childlike faith, that seed faith, but God longs for our fidelity. Our maturity is marked by a hang-on-at-all-cost faith. It goes deeper than knowing God is always there for you

One of the most beloved poems of all-time is this one by Mary Stevenson.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND.

      “One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So, I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has been only one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you the most, have you not been there for me?

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

This poem is a comfort to so many people because it reminds us that God is with us even when we don’t feel it. At the same time we also need to ask is this the only type of faith there is.

What is God seeking?

We may experience times of closeness with God for sure but then there are those times when God feels distance – where does he go or why does he go?

We talked about maturing from childhood, into adolescence and ultimately into adulthood. The question is, “what is the quality of faith associated with maturity?”

One of the hallmarks of growing up is learning to see your parents differently. As a child, parents are almost like God. They can do nothing wrong. They are incredible! And then adolescence begins to creep in and you suddenly realize your parents aren’t perfect; in fact, there is a lot wrong with them. But thankfully a third stage hits as you mature and even become parents yourself and suddenly you see the merit in your parents’ wisdom and you realize they are not so dumb after all. In fact you love them – imperfections and all. What made that transition possible? It’s about perspective.

This is what God was looking for in Job. God wanted faith that included fidelity; an ability to be faithful to Him beyond the circumstances. The ability to be faithful to God under such duress can only happen when you understand His heart. True faith is born of real love and having greater concern for the one you love than for your own self.

Faith isn’t about blindly believing or putting your intellect on hold but loving so much that leaving is not an issue.

If I think about what sets Rev. Moon’s teaching apart from all others it must be their understanding of God’s broken heart. With that in mind, suddenly overcoming disappointment and being faithful is more understandable and believable. When we think about the God that Rev. Moon encountered our hearts go out to Him and suddenly faith is not an issue because we want to stand by our God. Rev. Moon would worry aloud, “Who will take care of my God when I die?” That’s different. He spoke about God like this:

“Do you have any idea how much pain God suffered the moment our first ancestors, into whom God had invested His complete and unreserved devotion since time immemorial, fell and disappeared into darkness, becoming part of Satan’s lineage? Are you even remotely aware that our Heavenly Father—who endured tens of thousands of years of excruciating heartache so great that His bones shed tears and His flesh quivered—had to go through the long, dark tunnel of indemnifying the human Fall in order to save His lost children? How many of you have spent days and nights in tears, yearning to comfort our Father in Heaven? This is how God is. I experienced God’s suffering with my entire being.”

Knowing God in this way we can’t but help love God and faith in the midst of difficulty is not about me, but about love and fidelity toward God in spite of everything.

God wasn’t meant to be a mystery originally. We were meant to experience God’s love directly in the family, in a way that is undeniable, substantial and satisfying. Ultimately, Grandparents would have been most God like having lived a lifetime of living for the sake of others and developing their God like character through the different realms of heart experienced in the family. To get help you would pray but then you would go and ask your grandparents and other family members for insight. Having someone who can bring God’s presence into your life was meant to be the most natural and substantial thing in the world.

To help us know God more deeply, I have invited Gerry Servito back to New Hampshire to give a seminar on the Three Hearts of God. To build an immovable faith you have to understand who God is. You can’t really say you love someone if you don’t understand what makes them tick, what touches and motivates them. You have to delve into the depth of their heart to appreciate them. I hope you can attend this incredible seminar.

Going beyond disappointment

Ultimately, God wants all of us to enter the “Faith Hall of Fame.” Rabbi Abraham Heschel noted the advantage of a Job like experience, “Faith like Job’s cannot be shaken because it is the result of having been shaken.” There are many paths to find the place beyond disappointment with God. After all, it’s everyone’s final destination. If we were to sum up God’s message to a disgruntled Job it might sound something like this according to Philip Yancy, “Until you know a little more about the running of the physical universe, Job, don’t tell me how to run the moral universe!” God was saying in no uncertain terms, “Put yourself in my place. Until you can offer lessons on how to make the sun rise or where to scatter lightning bolts, don’t judge how I run the world.”  The message is not lost on Job who repents and almost magically his disappointment with God is lifted.  But it wasn’t magical. The big breakthrough happened because Job had transitioned from a childlike faith that only knows how to receive love and blessing to an adult faith characterized by fidelity. Job made an active choice to be faithful to his Heavenly Parent because finally he grasped his parents’ heart.  That is the kind of faith that is not easily shaken and can digest those moments of silence knowing everything can’t be understood right away. More profoundly, it’s a faith that understands that even rejection might be expressing hidden pain.  The kind of faith that we need to make us whole involves the ability to love anyway …..regardless…..Now that’s something to think about! That’s what God is looking for.