I have been reading the book “Disappointment with God: Three Questions No One Asks Aloud” by Philip Yancy. What a great title! Everyone, at some time or other, has felt disappointed with God but feels some trepidation to say it out loud. Nobody wants to be seen as faithless; after all, what if God does indeed exist and I said something against him? On the other hand, I hate this pretense and having to work so hard to feel anything or occasionally get a sense that God is out there. That quickly unravels into, “it’s not fair. Why does God make it so hard to perceive him?”
Three Unanswered Questions
It was questions like these that stimulated Philip Yancy to write the book “Disappointed with God.” He had struggled and so many people came to him over the years with the same questions:
- Is God unfair? Why is there still suffering while the Bible and all religions seem really good at promising rewards and happiness? And what about people who are clearly off the wall and yet they seem to prosper anyway? What’s with that?
- Is God Silent? How come I can’t get answers even though I try?
- Is God hidden? Why can’t I find proof of God? How can I build a relationship with a being I am not sure exists?
These are really good questions and if we are honest, I would say most, if not all people at some time or other have asked questions like these.
Relationships work best when people are on the same page. It’s easy to have assumptions and those are the things that ruin relationships. If I were to assume that true love meant a husband would bring home flowers every Friday night then I would be a very disappointed person! The best relationships are founded on good communication with careful attention to concepts and assumptions that get in the way of the flow of true love.
This is why we have to take time to look at our relationship with our Heavenly Parent. Philip Yancy claims that deep down we are afraid that God is unfair, and that gets in the way of our relationship with Him. I thought about it and felt, you know what – that’s true. The elephant in the room is a big sign that reads “God is unfair.” But we can’t voice that because we are only meant to say nice things about God!
Nevertheless, the real question is do we truly want a fair God? Imagine a world designed such that every time you made a mistake you received an electric current running through your body or a warm gush with every act of virtue. Would such a system develop faith?
Does fairness create faith?
If you read the Old Testament you can see that kind of “behavior modification.” But the question is did it really work? God seemed a pretty ‘fair’ God. The Israelites had to follow a series of laws that were laid down, do what God told them to do, in which case they would be blessed. A lot of the Old Testament is a series of dreary stories recounting the consequences of the people of Israel not following God’s commandments. They were invariably cursed and sometimes blessed. Yancy shows that God was pretty consistent:
| Results of Obedience | Results of Disobedience |
| Prosperous cities and rural areas | Violence, crime and poverty everywhere |
| Fertility for people and their animals | Infertility |
| Bountiful harvests | Crop failure, locusts and worms |
| Great weather | Scorching heat, drought, blight and mildew |
| Guaranteed military victories | Domination by other nations |
| Health and wellbeing | Fever, madness and blindness |
You can dip into the Old Testament and read about the covenant of God and his people. It’s a messy story. Despite God’s fairness, the people of Israel didn’t find faith very often. As they went along, God tried to help them. God must have thought, “OK, you didn’t get the 10 commandments – perhaps they were a little too vague.” God eventually gave 613 laws. But even that level of explicitness didn’t work.
In the end, fairness is not enough. It might keep young children, who love fairness, in line but it doesn’t satisfy the heart because the mature heart requires something deeper and wider. For all of God’s fairness in Old Testament times, the people of Israel became faithless at the drop of a hat. We may cry out in moments of anguish, “Why can’t God be fair?” However, in reality justice and fairness wouldn’t solve our problems.
In contrast, the God of the New Testament is a benevolent God who extends love and grace more than judgment. What was the difference between the Old Testament God and the New Testament God? The New Testament era came about because Jesus revealed that God is our Father. He opened the father’s realm of heart to people. They could encounter God as a Father and not just any Father but the prodigal son’s father. The prodigal son’s father wasn’t trying to be fair. He was blatantly unfair, but his unfairness made sense because he missed his lost son.
The power of family love
I was reading from some of Rev Moon’s speeches the other day and came across a beautiful passage that explained why we use the word ‘family member’ in our church. We are part of a family. We don’t talk about church members or organizational members but specifically ‘family members’. Rev. Moon said he always thought of people that way. This is not a New Testament tradition but a Completed Testament tradition because it involves not just Heavenly Father’s love but Heavenly Parent’s love; the love of parents, children, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles; the love of family.
Religion has to include family love because the quality that is most precious in a family is that you belong. You don’t choose your parents, you don’t choose your family; they are always in you and you in them. We all have our share of odd and quirky relatives but that is half the fun of being together. It makes life interesting. I remember many family reunions with the great aunts and uncles, grandparents, nephews and nieces. If anyone looked in from the outside they may observe we are an odd bunch. Regardless, everyone belongs and because everyone is there then God is there. That is the beauty of family.
The moment we exclude even one person based on our prejudices we lose God. That is something to think about. You may remember the parable of the lost sheep. Even though the shepherd has 99 sheep, he goes after the lost one. God’s parental heart pushes him to go after the lost person. He can’t help it. That is why when we exclude someone, we don’t just cast a person out but we cast God out too. There has to be a place for everyone and that is why the model for our faith community is family.
To understand God you have to keep up with him.
God is always moving forward and like any parent he is trying to move his children forward. You can see the progression as you study the Old and New Testament. It reminds us that you can’t sit still because God is not sitting still.
Driving over to a friend’s house on Friday I saw a curious sign: NLC.tv. Then I saw another one and another one. I was curious. When I got home I googled it and discovered it was advertising the New Level Church. What a great name! It reminded me that we always have to be going to a new level or we become stuck. Do we want the God of ‘fairness’ that we see in the Old Testament? If we choose ‘fairness’ we will always have to pay dearly for every mistake and there will always be those that must be cast out.
Going to a new level
God wants to take all of us to a new level. What would your new level be? God’s hoping your new level will include letting him into your family. God wants to be in each family and in every neighborhood. Rev. Moon encouraged people to do this through Home Church. The idea behind Home Church is that we can bring God not just into our home but into our neighborhood as well.
Some of us may remember years ago when the concept of Home Church was brand new and people went out into the streets of New York City wearing white overalls and carrying brooms to sweep the streets. This was a creative way to serve the community. We can also use our creativity to find unique ways to invite God into our homes. Rev. Moon gave many sermons on the topic of Home Church:
“Spring is a time when everything lives again. Like the spring season in nature, I want you to have life welling up in you again. I want you to start a new life from now on. You may have an old idea about home church, but throw it away like winter clothing and have a bright new home church idea; knowing the relationship of yourself, God and the dispensation.” 4-6-80
Finding new ways to let God in
Driving home last night I passed my neighbor’s home and was surprised to see lights in the big old tree where they built a treehouse. I waved as I went by. The whole family: mom, dad and three cute kids were curled up in sleeping bags on the floor of the tree house.
What were they doing so late at night under the moon? They were living Home Church. The family is Christian but respects the fact that Jesus was himself Jewish and practiced Jewish traditions. For this reason, they too practice many of the beautiful traditions in the Old Testament. That night they were celebrating the “festival of shelters” described in Leviticus 23: 39-43.
“Remember that this seven-day festival to the Lord—the Festival of Shelters—begins on the fifteenth day of the appointed month,[a] after you have harvested all the produce of the land. The first day and the eighth day of the festival will be days of complete rest.40 On the first day gather branches from magnificent trees[b]—palm fronds, boughs from leafy trees, and willows that grow by the streams. Then celebrate with joy before the Lord your God for seven days. 41 You must observe this festival to the Lord for seven days every year. This is a permanent law for you, and it must be observed in the appointed month[c] from generation to generation. 42 For seven days you must live outside in little shelters. All native-born Israelites must live in shelters. 43 This will remind each new generation of Israelites that I made their ancestors live in shelters when I rescued them from the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”
They created a beautiful offering table with palm fronds and boughs from leafy trees and gave thanks to God.
Many of us are disappointed in God because God has never been real in our lives. I realized how blessed this family is to experience faith in the very heart of their family – praying together, singing together, sleeping together under the starry sky to make sure they don’t forget that God brought their ancestors out of slavery and guided them through the desert. Those kids will never forget this kind of experience. It will stick with them more strongly than mere words or sermons. This is why the family is at the very heart of our faith tradition.
Disappointment with God stems from a hurt
When you sit down with someone who is disappointed with God you usually find that behind the emotion is a story of loss. I was reminded of this when I watched the movie “God is not dead.” The antagonist in the movie, despite being a self-proclaimed atheist, hated God with an intensity of emotion that makes you wonder how you could hate someone to that 
degree when you supposedly don’t believe they exist!
The professor in question had prayed to God as a young boy, with the hope that his mother could survive cancer. Tragically, she died and the boy couldn’t forgive God. He remained disappointed with God.
We have all felt let down at some time or another. Our expectations were not fulfilled. Perhaps we had unrealistic hopes or assumptions about what God could do, not fully understanding the limitations that God himself has because each person has been endowed with free will.
It’s important to step back and ask yourself how have I been disappointed and does that affect my relationship with God? The chances are it does.
Antidote to disappointment with God
The antidote to this predicament is to let God in. I mentioned that God is a God of grace. When we practice grace and benevolence we open the door for God to come into our lives.
“If you can love one person, God’s love will be there in proportion of the depth of that love. If you can love many people like this, God’s love will come in proportion to the greatness and depth of that love.” – Sun Myung Moon
We are a family. We are not church members – we are family members. Sometimes we annoy each other or fight. We can get mean! Sometimes people leave and others bad mouth them. But when Rev. Moon heard of this kind of situation he would always speak well of them and say, “It’s OK they are resting.” He assumed they had tried hard, really hard, but had come up against something they just couldn’t overcome. He respected them and their effort. In this way, he made room for them to come back. He kept them in the family.
When we live like that God will be in our midst. When people asked Jesus where the Kingdom of Heaven was he told them it is right here, with them, if they so choose.
Parents’ love – the great equalizer
Rev. and Mrs. Moon’s unique contribution is to say we need a faith that includes Heavenly Parentism. Parent’s love is the great equalizer. Parents don’t treat every child the same. You can’t – each child has unique needs. But fairness is ultimately felt when each son and daughter feels loved.
Every religion has a set of traditions and values. Our greatest tradition as Unificationists is the Marriage Blessing because through that we allow God into our family and together with other families around the world we become one family under God.
Father Moon heard God’s cry, “Let me in” and invested his life helping others find God in their life. He felt that any sacrifice or effort was worth it if God could gain a foothold on earth.
Sometimes we struggle because we want God to be fair according to our own expectations, but God’s benevolence is so much greater than that. The rain falls on the wicked and the good. Love does not condone evil deeds yet patiently waits for repentance. When we inherit such a benevolent heart we will no longer feel disappointed with God.
This week let God in and extend grace and benevolence to those around you.
